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I haven’t posted on here in awhile. I’ve been also using my myspace blog for a few things. The girl party went down as a success and you can read about it on myspace blogs posted from Elaine, Kristen, and Lori. For some reason, this week seems to be my I don’t feel like doing anything week. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed…Last night I cleaned the house and still have my room and the basement and my front closet is overflowing with junk I just threw in their to get out of the way…. The basement is scary. That might take me into two half days to get clean. Every time I go down there my socks end up getting super dirty. I wanted to really pimp it out and give it a awesome place to go into, but I’m feeling like whats the point? April is already here and I only have 3 more months left til the lease is up. that’ll be here before i know it–which is just another topic that i am avoiding like the plague.
Lots of things have been going through my head about my life in general. My grandma is sick with pnemonia and my mom has been having a hard time managing work, and taking care of them, leaving her with no room to do anything on her own. It’s going to be a huge responsibility getting them into a new place and out of their big 5 bedroom farm house…just the thought. I may have to put my time on hold to go help them as nobody else seems to want to deal with it all. Sometimes I hate being an only child more than anything and that feeling comes up more so in the last 3 years then when i was little. I have lots of friends who are only children, but for me, I seem to feel like i’m the only one that completely resents my parents from having another.
If you wouldn’t mind sharing some of your insight on why you hate being an only child, I’d love to hear it sometime. I think we’re done, and Clare is going to be our only. I hated being pregnant, and the tantrums are enough to make me want to check into an assylum some days. Anyway, I hope that all is well. Sounds like you gals whooped it up Saturday night. Hopefully next time I can come too!
I can’t say ‘resent’ is the word for me, but I tell you there are SO many times when I wish my mother had someone else to call and be down on and complain to. I hear about everything… not to meantion that boys have used her calling all the time as 1 thing they hate about me. Ugh! Not my fault! When we had to put my grandmother in a home, it was just mom and me basically. We did have a little help with some of my dad’s side of the family… that was it! Granted, we only had a 3 bedroom single wide trailer and shed to unload… but still, it was incredible! And at least your grandmother has her mind together so she can help. Seeing the living conditions she was in, was sickening. We basically had to go in there and forget about it being grandma’s and act more as if we were ‘hired’ to do a job. All the dishes in the cupboard were unfit to eat off. I washed dishes for over 8 hours. We filled 2 dumpsters! And we had 2 garage sales! Nothing like spending your 28th birthday cleaning out your grandmother’s dump! I can completely relate… don’t feel alone! The day that I get a new job and I’m not in Saginaw for work anymore will be torcher… I can see the guilt trip coming! Just remember one thing… for us… it’s best not to go back for good. The only way we will retain our independence… is distance.